Interview with Quentin Terrentee-Nose

Author of SINUSFELD

 

Where are you from originally and where do you reside now?

Hometown: Chicago

Currently living in Los Angeles in a stolen LAPD helicopter – and I’m scared that as soon as I touch ground, I’ll be arrested for cop lifting.

If you currently reside somewhere besides where you were born, what’s the story that lead from there to here?

My voracious appetite for adventure motivated me to live in such eclectic venues as Texas, Oklahoma, England and Saudi Arabia. By God’s grace, I landed an incredible job as a studio-camera operator at CBS-TV station affiliate, KWTV Channel 9 News. Eventually I made my way to Hollywood, where I worked in production at Paramount Pictures for many years, won parts in feature-length films (it helps when your friends are producers and directors who are wanted for white collar crimes from when they worked in a laundry mat), served as warm-up comedian for a national talk show (HOME TEAM WITH TERRY BRADSHAW), did comedic appearances on TV, and even appeared THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO as well as the updated version of The Gong Show, entitled EXTREME GONG – and won!!! Unbelievable experiences, to be sure. But my first love is writing, and I had to pursue it.

What made you decide to write and publish your first book?

It was always a lifelong dream to have my humorous works become red-hot purchases in stores – even though in my dreams that only happened in bookstores that were set on fire during the L.A. riots. It’s that do-or-die life mission that haunts you from your very first cup of coffee in the morning, right up to that very second cup of coffee in the morning (I have an extrenely short attention span).

How would you describe your books to first time readers?

I would describe them as square objects, approximately 8.5 x 11 in dimension, having numbered pages in-between the book covers.

Who do you feel is most likely to connect with the topics you write about?

People who staple pieces of paper to their hands that list the subjects I write about. But in all seriousness, it’s important to remember that if these people aren’t close friends or relatives, I’m not allowed to feel them.

What unexpected or surprising thing did you learn during the process of writing and publishing?

Believe it or not, because my ability to comprehend is so positively lacking, it shocked me to no end that I was able to learn to spell the words UNEXPECTED and SURPRISING.

If you could, what advice would you give to your past self before embarking on this journey?

I would tell my past self to come back to Earth as a dog, so I won’t sound so silly every time I embark at cats and squirrels.

How many people would you ideally like to reach with your books?

Why? Are my hands being amputated? I’m having prosthetic reading paraphernalia attached to my partial limbs? That’s just great! So much for my medical condition improving! Do you know how hard it’s going to be to shake hands at book-signing events when you have pages for fingers?

What has been the biggest challenge and frustration during the process to date?

At this time, I choose not to date. The last woman I took to the movies made me spend so much money on her at the concessions counter, they gave her the movie-screen curtain to use as a table cloth. She was talking back at the screen so loudly, people were screaming at her to shut up – from the movie theater around the block. She was so loud, the actors in the movie had to say most of their lines twice.

What’s your biggest strengths when it comes to book a) writing, b) publishing and c) marketing?

I believe my story concepts and messages are attention-grabbers. I subcontract for the publishing process, so the finished product is pretty spot-on. Marketing is toughest. Working in show business is awesome because I’ve gotten celebs to endorse my products with photos and reviews. And my circus skill for using a whip comes in quite handy when my publisher calls me into his office, to impress upon me that I can only get away with plagiaristic prose during an election year.

What’s your biggest weakness when it comes to book a) writing, b) publishing and c) marketing?

With writing, I’m a fast writer – but I have a tendency to procrastinate. Same with getting my edits to the publisher. Marketing can tire me out while trying to negotiate hit-and-miss paths to deliver my product, even with the accolades i accrue. Marketing also tires me out if I have to drive all over town hunting down items on my barbeque-picnic shopping list, because all the Costco stores keep selling out.

When do you think you will write your next book?

I already have a couple more books already written, including a comedy novel. But I just want to focus on my book SINUSFELD right now, because I believe there’s a huge audience for my book of cartoons dealing with today’s contemporary issues in a potently humorous manner. It’s SEINFELD, FRIENDS and PBS social commentary programming all rolled into one gigantic, hysterical glob. I’m quite pleased with the reviews SINUSFELD is receiving at Amazon.com. My target demographic – the people who love the shows I mentioned – get it. And that’s a lot of people! You can get a lot of readers on your side, as long as they’re from the Midwest and can be easily bribed with chicken salad.

Are you self published or did you use a hybrid publisher, or a traditional publisher?

I self-published, which offers more options than traditional publishing, which only accounts for about 22% of the publishing industry. You’re on your own timetable, which beats being on your own turntable if you’re a professional DJ trying to avoid breaking your records.